Archive: September 2009

Since Jimmy isn't recovering from severe head trauma like Conan, I suspect he'll be making jokes about Jon's firing from his (formerly-eponymous) show "Jon & Kate Plus 8," hereinfater, Kate Plus 8.

The last time Jon got dumped this fast was... well, whenever he tried to date before he got rich and famous!

Tonight, Megan Fox will be one of his Jimmy's guests on Late Night.

One of Jimmy's writers has been Twittering today about Megan Fox developing diarrhea every time she gets on stage.

That would certainly be a spectacle on tonight's show!

Earlier today, funnyman "Weird Al" Yankovic confirmed on Twitter that he will be performing next month on Late Night.

No word yet on what song(s) Al will perform, and/or whether The Roots will participate. Does ?uestlove know how to play the accordion?

Jimmy turns 35 today. We wish him all the best!

From Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon:

President Obama was caught on video calling Kanye a jackass. Of course, that's less impressive than Kanye West himself, who was caught on video BEING a jackass.

There's a new world record holder for the tallest living man. Congratulations, Sultan Kosen, you finally have a reason to hold your head up high!

Jimmy hosts Senator John McCain tonight (he's the one who lost), but all eyes will be on Jay Leno's new not-the-Tonight-Show show, airing at 10pm.

Yesterday, we predicted that someone in the audience would yell out "You Lie!" during Jimmy's monologue. We didn't get all the details right, but we were very, very close.

We thought they'd get a celebrity cameo, but it was just a Late Night actor dressed up in a suit, who repeatedly interrupted Jimmy's story about his dinner plans the night before. Watch the video here:

Since Mario Batali is the third guest, I'm guessing there's no musical guest tonight. Instead, Jimmy will likely get a cooking lesson from the rotund celebrity chef.

I'm wondering what jokes Jimmy might make in tonight's monologue regarding that "You lie!" outburst from Congressman Joe Wilson last night during Obama's address:

"Last night, President Obama's speech to congress was interrupt--"
"YOU LIE!"

I'd love to see his monologue interrupted by some cameo'ing celebrity — Will Ferrell, perhaps?

Jimmy will be playing / discussing / giving away copies of the Rock Band Beatles edition tonight on Late Night.

If any living Beatles stop by, I hope he asks them why the heck they still won't sell their music in iTunes.

If any dead Beatles come by, I hope he runs away screaming.

Susan Boyle's new album reached the top of Amazon's charts. The album cover is reportedly hideous, but it's what's inside that counts.

YouTube is reportedly planning to start offering movie rentals. Which is great news, because I've been waiting and waiting for "Cat falls off window" to come out on DVD.

Read more suggested jokes for Jimmy at HireMeJimmyFallon.com!

Today's monologue suggestions from Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon!:

• A star high school quarterback tackled a girl when she brandished a gun on a bus. The girl was immediately signed by the Philadelphia Eagles.

• Michael Jackson has finally been buried. Is it just me, or did his funeral last almost as long as the video for Thriller?

Read more.

Ashlee Simpson is one of Jimmy's guests tonight on Late Night. It appears that she's not booked as the musical guest tonight (since Shadows Fall) is on the program, so we'll hope that she won't have any SNL-style meltdowns tonight!

As you may know, I write Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! in my attempt get, well, Jimmy Fallon to hire me. As a writer. Each day, I pen a few jokes for that night's show. Here's a sample for today!

The FDA says the gross blob a Florida man poured out of his Diet Pepsi can was, in fact, a frog or a toad. That's in keeping with Pepsi's new slogan: "The choice of a newt generation."

Read more at Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon!

Some of you may know me, your endearing JimmyFallon.com webmaster, as the guy behind Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! In short, I'd love to write for Jimmy's show, but he hasn't hired me yet!

So, to convince Jimmy and his team that I'm funny enough to hire, I try to write potential monologue jokes for him every day. Here are a few for today:

• Publishers are working on a new translation of the Bible that will use more modern language. The most prominent change is the new passage "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, LOL."

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly considering posing for Playboy. Teenage boys all across America are reportedly considering going to the bathroom for a little while. Uh, don't come in.

More here.

After a two-week vacation, Jimmy Fallon is back on the air this week. Last night was his 101st show, and tonight the new shows continue with Joan Allen and Rob Zombie.

Next Monday is Labor Day, and Late Night With Jimmy Fallon will rerun an episode featuring Jimmy's SNL castmate Adam Sandler. But other than that single repeat, everything on the schedule is a brand new episode for a while, so get ready for lots of fun new Fallon.